The first clue that maybe things might not go as planned? The quicker than the typical no-response email.
You see, I have several resumes, one for my artsy job dreams listing all things creative that I would think would be relevant to someone looking for a creative person to hire. And two other resumes, one for Serving and another as a 'general go-to' resume for something generic. Like retail. The problem was that this job was listed under the "Retail" section in craigslist, although the heading clearly stated "Art Gallery looking for sales associate" or something along those lines. So, which resume do I submit? Lame retail or "HEY LOOK AT ME I'M CREATIVE!" resume? Clearly, this was an art gallery, so more than likely, the 'creative' resume will pop. My choice was made.
Side note, I now realize that my artsy resume looks a lot better than I think it really is. This month by some random stroke of luck I was trolling craigslist around 10 pm and I answered a gig add for a NY stylist on some high profile gig (her words not mine), and basically I got to go behind the scenes at the VH1 Divas Support the Troops and help some famous people put on their clothes. The reality was not as glamorous as it seems, (ok it was a lot of fun though ) but on a resume? That looks pretty darn sweet. And I helped out on an independent feature film, where I didn't do much, I shouldn't get credit, but still, on a resume it looks nice.
As I said before, I received a response the day of the email AND a phone call. Unheard of in craigslist land. Good sign no? Her email read like this
"Thanks so much for your resume. You've got some great experience. I don't see retail written all over it, but you must have great style! I'd love to chat with you about what you're looking for. I left you a message just now - you can reach me at...blahdiblahbla"
First off, I must have some great style?! Whoa, whoa whoa whoa, slow down there cowboy, you haven't even met me. How do I know if I have great style? How do I know if you know what great style is? Some people think that rainbows, a cute shirt from target and boot cut is great style. And what if she does have a great sense of style, now am I going to be judged if my style is not up to her standards? Or what if I show up in what I believe to be my snazziest outfit and she thinks I look ridiculous? DOES THIS JOB DEPEND ON WHETHER OR NOT I MEET YOUR UNDEFINED EXPECTATIONS OF STYLE?!?!?!
this is the only two of the ideas i came up with
guess which one i chose?
Not to mention all my pre-concieved notions of what I should and should not wear to impress at an interview have now been shook to the core. Normally I try to go for business casual, something nice, kinda quirky but more of a 'Hello, I am not a drone. But I do work well with others and I can make people laugh, Hire me?" look. Now, I don't even know? I have to keep it professional, but now I have to have great style? I am about 10 steps into a very complicated very deliberate process of over-analyzing what I am going to wear, when usually, I go by what I feel like looks best.
I chose the hippie one. Go figure.
Fast Forward to En Route to Said Interview. My dad is driving me (I do not have a car or a license, that in and of itself is a long and complicated story. The short answer to your "How old are you? You don't drive yourself?" inevitable question is yes, I do not drive. Yes I am irresponsible and immature.) and he decides to go, at 9:45am, the side street route. UGH. Bad idea. Red Lights for Miles. Traffic. And I am going to be late. Oh cock.
Cock. cock. cock. I really do not want to be late to an interview. I am the type of person who waits for the very last minute to do everythingineedtodobeforeileave, and that takes my projected time of departure and says ha! I don't need your silly concept of time, and usually actual arrival time about twenty minutes later than actual Arrival Time. For jobs, I can usually rein this in so that I am exactly on time (starbucks beats that into you) or give or take 5-10 mins late. Most of the time with a new job, fresh slate, I like to look on the bright side and think, maybe, just maybe, this will be a job that I actually do want to go to, so I will be there on time!Needless to say, I have been fired from many a job for attendance issues.
That usually means I have to be at the interview early or on time, just to give them a good impression. Interviews; however, are one thing I will not allow myself to be late for.
Dad suggests calling Overenthusiastic-potential-boss, lets call her Nancy, and letting her know that I will be a couple minutes late. Ooo, I really do not want to do that. First, I am scared to death of talking to someone I do not know on the phone. Second, as a seasoned late person, I know that about half the population has a good concept of time. The other half, either doesn't know and doesn't care (5%); does know, doesn't care (1%), or doesn't know because they are way too busy with ten million other things more important than time and only sort of care (44%).
I call, Nancy answers (Dang it!), I politely tell her what my deal is, and turns out she is apart of that favored 44% (handy because I can be sort of late, but she is punctual enough that she shows up marginally on time) and says she was in a meeting anyways. Score!
I get there, am walking in my awesome (think?) getup, and I meet her at shes coming out of the gallery space. She seems nice, shows me the place, still under construction. And I get the vibe that she is mildly underwhelmed by my 'style'. I know it was not my best effort, but I was thrown off guard! And it was at 9am in the morning while I'm still digging for eye boogers and I don't have my coffee yet!
We go across the street to this cute little place that used to be next to one of the few good vintage stores in north county. She orders tea, and asks me if I would like something. Which throws me for another loop! Do I say yes? I always go in to restaurants and sit down for interviews and they always ask me "Would you like something to drink?" I always go for the safe "water" because I always wonder, if I ordered a diet coke, would I have to pay for it? And its not like I can go fling money around every time I interview, there is a reason I am looking for a job.
This time, I had a conundrum. It was 9:45 am, early by my standards, and I was desperately craving coffee. I knew I had about $1.25 in my bank account, and in a fancy place like this (and independently operated no doubt) a cup of joe is about $1.75. I know kinda its socially kinda awkward to have someone buy you a cup of coffee.
I say yes to my free coffee. We get our cups, its insanely busy/crowded, and I try to finagle a decent table. Not too big, which means I have no concept of size or consideration for other groups. Not too small so we are not touching knees while I drink my paid-for-coffee right next to her. A table just right, large enough to spread out, but not like its the Hummer H2 of tables. Land Rover size. Maybe smaller.
I find the promised land-table, however since it is busy, I have to slide past a middle aged couple. I put myself in the awkwardly cramped spot, however; that means I have swing my large-and-in-charge butt right in the face of the couple next to us. Fun. I already feel like a beached whale. Sit down, and wait, while my coffee cools off.
Nancy sits down, and she immediately asks if I am a stylist. Nope, one time gig, hoping to do that thing they call "networking" and maybe get a better gig later on. I tell her my life goals, and what my story is. I talk about how little access there is to art in North County. I think I comment on the location like ten times. We kind of chit chat, and then I take a huge gulp of STEAMING hot coffee, and proceed to burn my entire face off. I hold in the pain, because what would be worse than spewing mooch coffee all over prospective bosslady. I run out of things to talk about....and she just kinda sits there.
I'm thinking "Wierd. Usually they have a set of interview questions ready for me, what is she going to ask me next?" More silence, I take my lid off of my lava coffee to theoretically let more air in to cool it. "What I am doing? Now that the lid is off, the probability of me spilling this entire cup of coffee is not a hundred fold?!" Nevertheless, I ignore reason, and sit there, half-sipping half-blowing into my cup of doom.
She asks me a few other questions, I can't really remember what, but they were without direction. Mindless comments about the location and art. God I sound so stupid. Silence. I don't get it is this an interview? Did I pass your fashion test? I don't know anything about your store its not even ready yet, what do I do??? She seems nice, but I can't seem to get past her awkwardness. I ask the usual fare, how much does she pay, hours, how big is staff? Then she kinda wraps it up, tells me she has to go see her daughter in a play and we go our separate ways.
I walked away, thinking "Huh.....was that a good interview? " I really have no clue how that interview turned out. It is only 4am the day of. Hopefully I am not faulted for my awkwardness, and apparent lack of fashion, and I get a job in a gallery! Positive vibes people!
